Draft : 08/03/2011
Taking one sip at a time...
Taking one sip at a time...
Friday, June 23, 2017
Draft : 05/21/2011
So, here I am, at my Motivated( 20%), Jealous (10%), Free (30%), Aching( 5%), Waiting (15%), Struggling (10%) and Creative(10% ) best!!!
It has been so long that I have posted on this blog that instead of logging into my bloggers account I am typing on a word document, not out of habit… yeah been writing too many documents at work… but out of sheer uncertainty. Uncertain! I am about just too many things… but I am also scared to voice them out.
Life hasn’t been out right evil to me… no. Though I have had major setbacks in my life… some deep depressions too and a few famines as well, now that we are counting, but I know I have had a pretty decently normal life so far.
It is the complexities of this normalcy that makes me all nervy.
I am Engaged to be married to my Boy Friend of almost 6 years. Great News?!?! Yes indeed!! Excited?!?!? Well… not really. I am normal. No butterflies in the stomach… no soon to be a bride jitters… nothing. I am normal. I am my cynical, sarcastic, extremely moody, frequently arrogant NORMAL self!
I wanted to get married… till last November, maybe because… I don’t remember now, why… but I did for some real reason want to get married. I was the one who bugged him to let his parents know… I would go about narrating to him every single statement my family made in regards with my marriage… to show urgency and criticality of the matter.
April, Engaged. May, uncertain….. Dec, approaching too soon!!!
I am uncertain, but not about getting married to him. He is the only person I would want to get married to, whenever I do. It’s just that I am so comfortably normal that it doesn’t seem right.
You don’t get married everyday…. It is once in a life time event (I am talking in my own respect)… so why the hell am I so frigging normal. I want to feel all the emotions I haven’t felt in all these years… I want my eyes to well up or my cheeks to turn pink or maybe just a few goose bumps!! But nope!! Nothing. Normal!!
I guess, maybe, as the time progresses (like it is not already….) I will start getting all those things a bride to be needs to know before she becomes the bride…
I want to be one hellov a difficult, anxious, tantrum-ish bride who would convulse at any and all the time…. Then I guess it would not be so frigging NORMAL!
So, here I am, at my Motivated( 20%), Jealous (10%), Free (30%), Aching( 5%), Waiting (15%), Struggling (10%) and Creative(10% ) best!!!
It has been so long that I have posted on this blog that instead of logging into my bloggers account I am typing on a word document, not out of habit… yeah been writing too many documents at work… but out of sheer uncertainty. Uncertain! I am about just too many things… but I am also scared to voice them out.
Life hasn’t been out right evil to me… no. Though I have had major setbacks in my life… some deep depressions too and a few famines as well, now that we are counting, but I know I have had a pretty decently normal life so far.
It is the complexities of this normalcy that makes me all nervy.
I am Engaged to be married to my Boy Friend of almost 6 years. Great News?!?! Yes indeed!! Excited?!?!? Well… not really. I am normal. No butterflies in the stomach… no soon to be a bride jitters… nothing. I am normal. I am my cynical, sarcastic, extremely moody, frequently arrogant NORMAL self!
I wanted to get married… till last November, maybe because… I don’t remember now, why… but I did for some real reason want to get married. I was the one who bugged him to let his parents know… I would go about narrating to him every single statement my family made in regards with my marriage… to show urgency and criticality of the matter.
April, Engaged. May, uncertain….. Dec, approaching too soon!!!
I am uncertain, but not about getting married to him. He is the only person I would want to get married to, whenever I do. It’s just that I am so comfortably normal that it doesn’t seem right.
You don’t get married everyday…. It is once in a life time event (I am talking in my own respect)… so why the hell am I so frigging normal. I want to feel all the emotions I haven’t felt in all these years… I want my eyes to well up or my cheeks to turn pink or maybe just a few goose bumps!! But nope!! Nothing. Normal!!
I guess, maybe, as the time progresses (like it is not already….) I will start getting all those things a bride to be needs to know before she becomes the bride…
I want to be one hellov a difficult, anxious, tantrum-ish bride who would convulse at any and all the time…. Then I guess it would not be so frigging NORMAL!
SHE
Draft 02/10/2010 (Incomplete)
I am She!!
I am She!!
Hi...
Good to see you, yes! you, on the other side of this screen...
I have shared with you a few of my stories, in one way or the other, my experience and my feelings...
Today I will share some of my learnings about me, She....
1- She is amusing!
2- She is attracted to anything and everything she has not seen before
3- She is not scared of people
4- She can live without a certain people she thought she couldnt
5- She loves herself but not the best
6- She is not a great fan of beaches but she likes the sound of waves
7- She doesnot mind travelling alone, she enjoys her company!
8- She is friendly but not social!!
9 - She can misbehave with anyone, usually for reasons beyond her control, irrespective of place and person.
10-
Lessons Of Life: Lesson : Independence
Draft : 12/13/2009
So, now I am on my own... really!
From waking up in the morning to travel for an hour and fifteen minutes to catch bus to office, to fixing dinner when I come back at 1030 tired and completely worn out!!
Independence -Freedom at a Cost....!!
So, now I am on my own... really!
From waking up in the morning to travel for an hour and fifteen minutes to catch bus to office, to fixing dinner when I come back at 1030 tired and completely worn out!!
Independence -Freedom at a Cost....!!
Dance..
Draft: 09/21/2009
He asked her, 'your last wish??'
She answered, 'you may take my soul but let me have my last dance...'
and she danced and danced and danced...
To me dance isnot an art, its not a hobby, its not something that amuses me... Dance is how I express myself... happy or sad... unsatisfied or content... dancing is how I become me again. It makes me high, intoxicates me...
I free myself with every tap of my toe and every turn of my wrist...
He asked her, 'your last wish??'
She answered, 'you may take my soul but let me have my last dance...'
and she danced and danced and danced...
To me dance isnot an art, its not a hobby, its not something that amuses me... Dance is how I express myself... happy or sad... unsatisfied or content... dancing is how I become me again. It makes me high, intoxicates me...
I free myself with every tap of my toe and every turn of my wrist...
Are you here?
I am...
I was there too... did you notice? I visit you sometimes and wonder if you do too. Thats not correct, I should have said I visit me there sometimes, the me- that I lost gradually over time, over a decade.
I visit to see if I am new or still the same, within... am I changing or adapting, I dont know.. do you?
I always believed in signs... I thought I read them well but I am not so sure anymore.
Do you even remember me? Do you visit me? ever? I hope you do... I hope you still care... I hope you still see me!
I still believe in signs....
I was there too... did you notice? I visit you sometimes and wonder if you do too. Thats not correct, I should have said I visit me there sometimes, the me- that I lost gradually over time, over a decade.
I visit to see if I am new or still the same, within... am I changing or adapting, I dont know.. do you?
I always believed in signs... I thought I read them well but I am not so sure anymore.
Do you even remember me? Do you visit me? ever? I hope you do... I hope you still care... I hope you still see me!
I still believe in signs....
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