Draft : 05/21/2011
So, here I am, at my Motivated( 20%), Jealous (10%), Free (30%), Aching( 5%), Waiting (15%), Struggling (10%) and Creative(10% ) best!!!
It has been so long that I have posted on this blog that instead of logging into my bloggers account I am typing on a word document, not out of habit… yeah been writing too many documents at work… but out of sheer uncertainty. Uncertain! I am about just too many things… but I am also scared to voice them out.
Life hasn’t been out right evil to me… no. Though I have had major setbacks in my life… some deep depressions too and a few famines as well, now that we are counting, but I know I have had a pretty decently normal life so far.
It is the complexities of this normalcy that makes me all nervy.
I am Engaged to be married to my Boy Friend of almost 6 years. Great News?!?! Yes indeed!! Excited?!?!? Well… not really. I am normal. No butterflies in the stomach… no soon to be a bride jitters… nothing. I am normal. I am my cynical, sarcastic, extremely moody, frequently arrogant NORMAL self!
I wanted to get married… till last November, maybe because… I don’t remember now, why… but I did for some real reason want to get married. I was the one who bugged him to let his parents know… I would go about narrating to him every single statement my family made in regards with my marriage… to show urgency and criticality of the matter.
April, Engaged. May, uncertain….. Dec, approaching too soon!!!
I am uncertain, but not about getting married to him. He is the only person I would want to get married to, whenever I do. It’s just that I am so comfortably normal that it doesn’t seem right.
You don’t get married everyday…. It is once in a life time event (I am talking in my own respect)… so why the hell am I so frigging normal. I want to feel all the emotions I haven’t felt in all these years… I want my eyes to well up or my cheeks to turn pink or maybe just a few goose bumps!! But nope!! Nothing. Normal!!
I guess, maybe, as the time progresses (like it is not already….) I will start getting all those things a bride to be needs to know before she becomes the bride…
I want to be one hellov a difficult, anxious, tantrum-ish bride who would convulse at any and all the time…. Then I guess it would not be so frigging NORMAL!
So, here I am, at my Motivated( 20%), Jealous (10%), Free (30%), Aching( 5%), Waiting (15%), Struggling (10%) and Creative(10% ) best!!!
It has been so long that I have posted on this blog that instead of logging into my bloggers account I am typing on a word document, not out of habit… yeah been writing too many documents at work… but out of sheer uncertainty. Uncertain! I am about just too many things… but I am also scared to voice them out.
Life hasn’t been out right evil to me… no. Though I have had major setbacks in my life… some deep depressions too and a few famines as well, now that we are counting, but I know I have had a pretty decently normal life so far.
It is the complexities of this normalcy that makes me all nervy.
I am Engaged to be married to my Boy Friend of almost 6 years. Great News?!?! Yes indeed!! Excited?!?!? Well… not really. I am normal. No butterflies in the stomach… no soon to be a bride jitters… nothing. I am normal. I am my cynical, sarcastic, extremely moody, frequently arrogant NORMAL self!
I wanted to get married… till last November, maybe because… I don’t remember now, why… but I did for some real reason want to get married. I was the one who bugged him to let his parents know… I would go about narrating to him every single statement my family made in regards with my marriage… to show urgency and criticality of the matter.
April, Engaged. May, uncertain….. Dec, approaching too soon!!!
I am uncertain, but not about getting married to him. He is the only person I would want to get married to, whenever I do. It’s just that I am so comfortably normal that it doesn’t seem right.
You don’t get married everyday…. It is once in a life time event (I am talking in my own respect)… so why the hell am I so frigging normal. I want to feel all the emotions I haven’t felt in all these years… I want my eyes to well up or my cheeks to turn pink or maybe just a few goose bumps!! But nope!! Nothing. Normal!!
I guess, maybe, as the time progresses (like it is not already….) I will start getting all those things a bride to be needs to know before she becomes the bride…
I want to be one hellov a difficult, anxious, tantrum-ish bride who would convulse at any and all the time…. Then I guess it would not be so frigging NORMAL!
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